Navigating Events Without Alcohol
My first significant sober event was at a friend's wedding, just six months into my alcohol-free life. I remember being so nervous to socialize with people I used to drink with, and how I would handle temptation. Thankfully my partner, also alcohol-free, was there, too. I came prepared with alcohol-free drinks and stepped away when needed to take moments for myself. Playing the tape forward was a strong deterrent to drink. I also headed to bed early, and the following day I woke up feeling so good and proud.
But not all my early experiences in my alcohol-free life were as smooth. I remember a friend's birthday at the beach, where overwhelming anxiety washed over me, even triggering a panic attack on my way to. I sat on a bench, taking deep breaths, until I felt ready to continue on. I reminded myself that I’m not nervous, I’m just excited and that I’ve ‘got this’. I sat until I felt good to continue on, and once I arrived at the event, the anxiety gradually dissipated.
On the day of a friend’s wedding in Arizona (2022)
Social anxiety occasionally emerged during my early alcohol-free life, which felt extremely uncomfortable having been a social person most my life. It was in these moments I realized how much I had relied on alcohol. I often reached out to my mom in tears, questioning “why am I like this?!” (shout out to my mom who received many calls like this.) After attending multiple events sober, and finding confidence in my new lifestyle, I felt like a completely different person. I learned to navigate social events with much more ease.
The point of sharing all this is to emphasize that socializing at events in my alcohol-free life has had its ups and downs, especially in the first year. I've always found that I'm more comfortable when I'm prepared with tools to help me through these situations.
Here are my top tips:
Have a game plan: Mentally prepare yourself with strategies to avoid temptation. Remember your ‘why’!
Share your intentions with a friend or partner: Having someone aware of your sobriety journey can provide valuable support and reduce feelings of isolation.
Step away as needed: Don't hesitate to take a break, catch your breath, or even call a loved one if necessary.
Check for alcohol-free beverages: Find out if they're available, and if not, consider bringing your own. Holding a non-alcoholic drink can deter others from offering you a boozy drink.
Play the tape forward: Remind yourself how you'll feel the next day if you give in to temptation today.
Leave when you want: If you're no longer comfortable, it's entirely okay to step away. If that's not an option (e.g., if you're part of a wedding party), ensure you have a safe space to retreat to for breaks, even if it's just a short walk around the block.
Seeing Elton John in 2019: one of my first (of many) sober concerts.
The good news is, in time and with practice, facing these challenges becomes more manageable. While entering a social setting without alcohol may seem daunting at first, remember that it won't always feel that way. Each experience is an opportunity for growth and greater comfort in your alcohol-free life!
Cheers to that!
